One year Later: Stressful nights, college life, and plans :)

This is my first post in almost a month. A lot has happened in a month. I've been at school for a month, home once, and to my grandparents for food many times! Let's just say I HATE THE FOOD HERE! I also hate living in a dorm. Not only is there no privacy, it's constantly loud, and living in such close quarters is not for me. Like just now there are girls screaming down the halls. They do this all the time, at all hours of the night, doesn't matter if it's the "quiet hours" or not. Ugh I hate it. I can't stand it. Ugh! Chris always says well at least you're not in the barracks. I have been in Chris's barracks and room. It is sooo much nicer than this! It is bigger and they have their own bathrooms. Ohh and I pay damn good money for mine! So needless to say, I will not be living in a dorm next year!

Chris has been really busy lately and in an area that I have to call him at work to get ahold of him. It's definitely annoying. I just called, at the time he told me to call, and he is sleeping. That drives me nuts! When you tell me to call then why can't you be awake! So frustrating!

Anyway, he's been really busy and stressed and let's just say he's taken it out on me. Now don't get me wrong, I love him more than words. I hate being 470 miles from him when he is stressed out because I have no way of making it better. He basically blamed me for things that were out of my control. Yes, I know that I am the only reason he stayed security forces. I know that I am the only reason that he has not been deployed. TO hear him say that and blame it all on me out of haste is what kills me. I literally had to sit there and take it. I couldn't say anything other than I'm so sorry and I love you. That was the extent of what I could do. It killed me. That night was a weak moment for him. I knew none of what he was saying was meant to hurt me, or anything like that. But I really couldn't help it. After a few days of not talking because he was at work and I couldn't get through the line, I finally got to talk to him. He apologized for everything. I felt so bad for him. He said it wasn't meant to be be him blaming me he just needed to vent and that is how it came out. All I said was I completely understand, but don't ever go to sleep without saying you love me when you're out, it scares me. He is the one I take everything out on too. So it's normal for us to be mad at each other for a little while. But we always talk it out....

On a better note, he is happier now and doing much better! Thank goodness! He really scared me! We've gotten to talk to each other a lot so far this week! It's been great. I love weeks like these! He goes on training soon so in two weeks I will be on my way to see him! Depending on what day he says I can leave, I'll be there either the 29th or 30th! I'm so excited! Less than two weeks and I get another weekend with him!

I really am getting lucky with all of this time! I've seen him once last month and hopefully again this month! I love it!

I may complain a lot about the situation that he is in. His schedule absolutely kills. I feel so bad for him because even though he has been there for a while he is still pretty low on the totem pole. He gets stuck working the shitty hours and always working. I feel bad for him.

I can't wait until I go see him again! He told me to bring a nice dress :)

We still don't know when the ball is but we're still planning on going. Kings Bay is the worst base at making plans! Fingers crossed! I have no dress or anything!

It's been a year since I saw him for the first time in 13 weeks! It's crazy to think that a whole year has passed! I remember every detail of that day. I remember staying up late with Gianna while she was sick the night before. I remember not being able to sleep and finally giving up at about 4:30. I remember getting me and Gianna ready, and having her "help me with my makeup" and not being able to eat that morning because I was so nervous. I remember running down the bleachers trying to find him, and it turned out he was already up them so we both ran to each other. I remember that first hug and kiss, the feeling of being whole again. I remember it all like it were yesterday. I was so proud of him, of myself, and our relationship.

3 years ago if you would have told me that I would be with Christopher, he would be a Marine, and we'd still be together. I would have told you that you were crazy! I am so proud of him and who he has become! I do not remember what it was like to be in a "civilian" relationship. Well okay I do, but now my relationship with Christopher means so much more, it is stronger, and way more mature. I do not know what I would do without him. I do not see a life without him anymore. It's Chris and Elyssa. Not just Elyssa anymore.

We may be young but we know what we want! I hate when people say but you're so young! Yeah we're young but we've been together for 2 years, and been through more than most people have.